'To wear less tight pants and do more ho-downs in public'

That is my new year resolution for 2010.

Doesn't make much sense at 1st so allow me to explain. The first part, 'to wear less tight pants' does not mean i usually wear pants 2 sizes smaller, but just means i would need to take care of my self better. A few years back, i use to sometime buy tight fitting pantalon (pants in Johore slang) that would show off my ass. Having lived with a tiny ass all though my teens i reckon when i did grow a pair of cheeks down south i would wanna show em off with figure hugging pants. This however did not do much comfort, and i wouldnt even know if people were looking at my rear since i dont have eyes at the back of my head. So as i grow older, i realise how silly it is to wear figure hugging pants no matter how hot my ass looks like. Its fitted and good tailored pants that suits me best. So, that is how the term, 'to wear less tight pants' was coined. Its basically to pledge my commitment to keep my self in good shape physically, in and out. Which will trickle down to excersize 3 times a week, less oily food and santan (dah 4 bulan tau no KFC!!!!) and taking good care of my skin as well. (the new SK II range is so tempting!!)

Now for the second part ' do more ho-downs in public'. Ho-down is the silly dance that red necks and southernes would like to do. I suspect it is the grandfather of the chicken dance movement, which looks just as silly. But why on earth would i want to do such a silly movement, and in public no less? Well, again my sentences always has layers to them. To do ho-downs, which is a way to ridicule oneself means to take life less seriously. To laugh at my self, so to speak. Not take everything personaly or make it so easy for people to get to me. Not to worry too much of my public image, one thing i have learned is, people talk, so let them. You buat baik ke jahat ke, still tongues will wag. Espescially lidah adik2. I never cared so now i should remind my self that. Let people talk, it means ur memorable. Another way to look at this line is to be albe to also laugh at my self. Sometimes i take my self way too seriously. My mistakes and imperfections are enlarged by my inability to accept defeat or the fact that i can do wrong as well. An ego thing. So what better way to remedy that than by doing a pointless mindless act, in public. No, no. Not that i would really do one in public, but them again kan.....

My simple yet multi pronged resolution came about after being able to be my self again, keep the drama on the low and the living on a high. I have found someone who can compliment me on that and im glad. I guess in the row of people who thinks they can handle me, the ones with the jitters gets my attention. I like a person who knows that they dont know. I found that if you admit your dumb, is much better than acting like your not and trying hard to fool the world, and your self. But in the end, that void will eat u up inside out and u become even more screwed up from where u started. Papahal maintain macho, like nothing is wrong. Padahal everything doesnt connect. Plastic. Urgh!

Well that is what i have learned so far lah. So, this year, the monumental year where i shall turn a new decade, i have decided that  i will learn more on how to control the things i can and to accept what i cant control as fate. Just like my motto when i do my events, 'keep it simple yet impactful'.

and leave the drama to Lady Gaga.

Much love.

After breaking my diet of no fast food for the last 6 month or so, i found my self driving to the nearest McD to gobble up some much needed Prosperity Burger and McFlurry.
Im sure all the chemicals in the junk made my mind have its own version of sugar rush as i started to act all wired up for no reason. So i met the girls, who had to endure my lame jokes and interprative dance routine as we chatted the working night away. After a while the rush dissapeared and the serious questions popped up. Mainly about how has 2009 been for us. I reckon 09 has been a very moderate yet vital year. As i prepare to embark on the next decade, subconsiously i have used 09 as a year of check and balance. Here is the Fidnism metaphor that i made up :
' In your early 20's, u speed up in life, like a bullet train, always rushing, from work to play, its a fast fun cycle. U accumulate some cargo along the way, good ones and bad ones. But u never look back at em cause your too busy in your tunnel vision of the forward. Untill one day, ur engine starts to loose steam, u add more fuel even service the engine but its still lagging, and u start to wonder what went wrong. Then u stop o worse, u breakdown, u get of the train and see the long cargo that has been locked on your train. Its a long long train now. Then u realise why u had to slow down. U were carrying too much! So the best thing to do, is to stop and make a stock check. Compartmentailse, stuff u need, u dont need, illegal passengers, rusts and all others that u are taking on the journey. Dont be afraid of comfronting them all. Taking stock in actually being in control. Taking control of the speed of your journey. Dealing with the excess baggage. Only then you can truly measure how fast you should go and how muh fuel u need.'

Mu pahe dok?
So 09 for me was about that. Going back and really seeing my self in all my small dark closets, nook and crannys that i might or might not have known existed. I faced my own demons, ones that have stoped me from moving on. Like for example, the reason i havent blogged as much. One is i dont feel there is much to talk about as i was taking stock, its a confusing time so id rather not confuse the masses :)
And secondly i did not want some people to have an inside of whats going on with me. Not just the things i do, but the inner workings of my mind and dare i say my heart. Its the same reason why shop closses down for a couple of days a year to do stock count or when construction sites hoard off the public view. Its just way to messy in here!

This is what i treid to explain to Petai, Azlan, Lego and other nameless faces that tried to come close. 'Im doing stockcount' hahaha. New excuse eh? Its more then an excuse i think, its inter communication with my self in a non-MPD kinda way.

So before i step into the new decade, i think its only good and apt for me to declare my findings for transparency purposes. Hahaha.

1. Im pretty screwed up from my last relationship. More than i care to show. Im over the relationship, that much i know. But the damage was more extensive than i thought. Hence why i kinda scratched your car. Sorry :P (apologising to the car, not the onwer)

2. I tend to over achive. I work hard, which is good, but im in danger of being a burn out if i dont be careful of how i deal with my work and the stress that comes with it. I sometimes take this attitude towards my friendship and relationship as well. A doomed relationship is like me not getting my KPI and my 6 months bonus. WRONG way of seeing things. I know.

3. I have issues with family that i need to iron out. My family is changing in terms of its dynamic.All good stuff, but as i grow older my responsibilities are bigger and i need to know how to handle that.

4. Change is definate. I need to evolve to be ahead. I find my self now just going with the flow, which is good, but i also need to take charge of some things to better improve the quality of my life. I need to create something, not sure what yet. Been in the cocoon of my comfort zone way too long.

5. Im afraid. Of new expectations, not being a good muslim, of my self, of people hurting me, of not being loved or liked, of being alone when im old. Banyak lah! But i want to admit them in order to handle them.

*sigh*

U see, people say im a simple dude. I dont fuss much, im easy going and relaxed. Which i take as a compliment coz in know it can be true. But i also know that i need to go underneath that to calm me spritually. So that will be one of my new year resolutions, to make fid a sprititually stronger person. Yes! Calm, not only on my facade, but also in my head and in my heart.

There, i did the 1st step. I acknowledge shite. Muahahahaha. Hey, i do feel a bit better already :)

Tis the time again to end the year! Gosh! This year was a very fast year indeed. So many things happened in the past 12 months, just thinking about them can make my head spin.

The year started out pretty messy. Just finished a horrible emotionally abusive relationship, so my spirits were low.  Had transitions in terms of work as well. I would say beginning of 2009 was a big blur. I was just going with flow. Slowly but surely my self confidence began to pick up. But Valentines Day I was already exchanging presents! Petai, as I would warmly address this person was a huge part of my recovery. As we both just finished relationships with emotional retards, we both had a lot to share. I dare even say at one point I was I love with Petai. However, I knew this was too soon. The last thing I needed was another failed relationship. I told my friends that I would remain single for at least 6 months post break up, and now it has been slightly more than a full year. Which proves that I can make it solo if I want to.

 

Petai and I kept each other company. We did many things, did a spot of travelling and had loads of fun. The turning point was when we got a bit too close. It was my fault, I tend to do this, make someone feel for me and then play dumb when they tell me what the feel. Heck, I even think I’m doing it now. I guess I have to keep the dimples low eh?

 

Travelling wise, I didn’t get to do any Europe this year. I was very close to do an Auckland, but thought that im more of a urban traveler than a nature lover. I need big city not big trees. But we did Jakarta with my friends which was superb. The amounts of drool I had looking at the hot Jakarta people. But when they opened their mouth, potong beb! Cute camne pun sorry la..cannot go. I will stick to what KL has to offer, tho limited as it is.

 

In the beginning of the year I made a anti-resolution. Instead of a to do list, I made a list of things I wont do. It was a way for me to vent out my anger at that time lah. Looking back at it, tho it was bitter, it had very strong points and I did stick by most of them. Especially the last resolution! I would say 09 was a year of growth. Inner growth. U know when your in a meeting with 20 other people who all cant stop talking and u just sit there silently and listen? 09 was that kinda year for me. I sat a listened to people. A LOT of people. I made friends with some new people, some were warm and open to share with me their life story, some were just interested in opening my pants, and some were just psychos.

 

The best and worst part of being single is dating. I had the chance to meet very diverse set of people. From aspiring fashion designers to surgeons, playwrights to pilots. Each had their own stories to share with me, their own baggage and point if view. Best pick up must have been the one when I was flying back from KK. I wonder how nak cari dia ek? Just to say thanks for hitting on me. Haha.

 

I also would like to thank most of the people I went out with. Many offered more than friendships by offering their hearts, which is sweet, but I had to say no. Dating gives u a direct insight to a persons psyche, the layers we have and the depth of our minds. Its just so fascinating when u get to know how a person works. I should get like credit hours la just for dating. Well, all I can say is, all the time spent talking, face to face or on the phone gave also an inside to my self. Which is exactly what I needed.

 

Ego boosts aside, I got promoted this year and I did well in my graduating class. Yey! I was given the honor to speak at my graduation, which was great. I now have 2 staff under me. The first thing I told them during the interview was, can u run in heels? Got the chance to handle huge events this year as well. Got to meet Abg Sham. Swoon! Manage an event in JB, FireFly rawks! And I also got my own unit! How cool is that?

 

Oh, I also got a chance to do more artsy fartsy things. Saw lots of Malaysian indie movies. Karaoke was way out there, but Sell Out was kinda kewl in a surreal kinda way. Saw MakYong, twice. Some musicals, art exhibitions even attended a playwriting class. (my playwright still doesn’t have an ending) And talking about writing, I sent an entry to Dina Zaman, who is only my fav Malaysian columnist! (And I read tones of columns ok, malas nak read any longer than that) She gave me feedback from one of my blog entries. Hiks! And she didn’t hate it lak tu! That was a high as well.

 

Hmm, looking back I think 09 isnt to bad at all. No major drama, which is always a plus and lots of small pockets of happy moments. Alhamdulilah.

 

Now gimme a couple of days to whip out my crystal ball and we shall predict what is install for the next 12 months!

 

 

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.

 

I like this quote. Nicked it from my Miss Ps YM stat.

 

I have always had the idea that love needs that strong spark, that I need to feel swept away, chemistry and all that. If not, I would not count it as love. Boy, was I wrong. Love just like a persons life, changes with age I think. I am not the same person I was when I was 19 therefore I doubt that as a lover, I would act and feel the same as well.

 

I use to always look for strong intangible things when starting a relationship. That feeling of constant high or ‘a bounce in my step’. But I have learned that as great as all the ‘magic spell’ is, a relationship is still a relationship. It takes a lot of work, understanding each other and one self, sacrifices and need lots of time and attention to grow.

 

Yes, I agree my view on love have gone a bit mendung but I guess if it came from all my battle scars. But, being the person that I am, I will always try to find the middle ground. I wont go to a sensible relationship, u know, being with someone that is good for u but your heart is not totally in love, the kinda of relationship you feel secure but will always yearn for more or wonder if you just settled.

 

On the other hand, I’m a realist as I know that butterfly in my tummy thing could just be gas or that high feeling could actually just be me getting horny.

 

All I’m saying is, the wow effect of a new relationship can be overpowering, but it could also add to false hope. To put it simply, if u had electric in your first few months, be cautious cause if the other person switches off the conduit, you will end up electrocuted.

 

So as I’m getting ready to ‘open shop’ soon. I must always keep in mind to not be overly excited when a few dates goes really well. I’m saddened that I have to sound just a tad bitter, but as I approach my 30’s (huge gulp) I can’t afford to meddle in a mediocre relationship that ends before it begins. I have waited a full year and I have learned a lot from being a free agent. But I know with relationships, no one theory applies. It’s as dynamic as the 2 people who are in it.

 

Moving on, I had just realized that it’s coming to Nov and I still have 14 days of annual leave left. So I’m gonna take all the Mondays of from next week, leaving me working only 4 days week and the best part, Selangor will have almost all the Fridays in December as a holiday so I will be working only 3 day weeks in December. Kewl!

 

What will I do with all the long weekend? Hmmm some hunts lined up and a short trip before the year ends, I’m liking the Hard Rock Penang idea..if not I could just jump on a plane and fly off somewhere. Who knows…and I can’t wait for the end of the year for that huge news. Been waiting for it for almost a year. I hope it works out well. Insyallah.

 

Lets just say, its something I should have naturally progressed to by now.

 

On that note have a grand old time folks!

 

 

My good old friend pinged me on YM over lunch time yesterday. It seems he was looking for some advise. Relationship advise. Lunacy, I know. The conversation went a bit like this :-

 

diamondfury    : wassup?

 Ruggerz          : I think my relationship is ending soon la.

Diamondfury   : Ayo, yeke..why so?

Ruggers           : A lot of shit la, will tell you when I see u this weekend. But now I need  some advise la

Diamondfury   : Sure, im all ears

Ruggers           : Since it has been decided that I will be leaving, and we now are living together, I need an extraction plan.

Diamondfury   : Is that what u kids call it these days? ‘Extraction plan.’ Lolz.

Ruggers           : Well, sounds better than break-up or what they use to call it in the 80’, clash. And definitely much better than , dumping..

Diamondfury   : Tru oso..

 

I tickled me pink that of all people, I was the point of reference when it came to breaking up. Actually looking back, it’s not a good thing to be the point of reference for matters like that. But I guess, I do have some experience at extraditing my self from awry relationships before, so I might as well share what I know with a friend. And my friend is relatively new at breakup as this relationship has been with him for almost 8 years.

So the first thing I asked was how he planned to do it. F2F is of course always the norm as it is more respectable and honorable thing to do. Phone call is already kinda bad but its faster, straight to the point and less dramatic. As for breaking up via SMS or email/FB, I think that is kinda low, although you guys might have met over the net, u CAN’T end things like that.

For my friend here, he has no choice but to do it f2f, since they live together. That would be tricky and messy. However, if the split is mutual than the whole thing can go down easier. (if ever there is a way to make break-ups easier la) It’s just like that song, I hate this part. It’s not something good, it sucks half of your life to go through and then u have the post break up to deal with after, which can be just as bad if not way much worse.

 

So what I told my friend is to have enough rest, sleep early the day before if possible, and plan out what is need to be said. In form a couple of friends before you go in at least someone knows what is about to happen and keep your emo in check.

 

When you have arrived there, just sit the person down and get straight to the point. It’s like sembelih ayam, tak baik nak keep the chicken alive, just slid the throat and let the blood gush. It has to be done. Keep the words simple and don’t go on an offensive mode. If you cant make eye contact like me, keep your eyes focused on something else or just bow your head down.  Say what you have to say but keep it short. You’re there to end things not amend things. If you have stuff at her place then pack what you can. If banyak sangat big items, u can always arrange for a quick swing by the next time (which should be no less than a week after the breakup) Try clean out your stuff as soon as u can.

 

Once it is over, get to your car, look your doors, and breathe. The worse part is over and you have survived. Cry if u need, or just stay there till you come to your senses. Text your friend telling them that it is over and where you plan to go next.

 

Then shake it off, roll down your car windows, listen to some music and drive back home or where it is u plan to sleep.

 

The next day, now that will be hell. I should save that bit later for my friend as he is already shook up about how to end the relationship. But for now, I hope what little I can share with you can help make the process easier. Remember, it is not the end of the world and you will have your friends (me! Me!) to love u unconditionally. Stay true to your self and just like a really bad constipation, this too shall pass.

 

Chin up babes!

 

Btw, take it from me, its way better to dump then to get dumped. :P

 

 

How would you react if you bumped into your x? This was the topic that came twice in the last 24 hours.

1^st it was during Kak Woks open house (great nasi hujan panas btw) and I was catching up with a friend who recently ended a 2 year relationship. He was telling me that he bumped into his x at an open house. My reaction was, why did u go in the first place? He said that he wanted to see all his friends and since its Raya and all, just wanted to be around people he cared about. I probed on how was the encounter, and he said it was awkward at first but it went from awkward to plain cordial. The x even walked him to his car and gave him a hug. I was in a mini awe. He asked if I bumped into any of my x during Raya and I said none so far. And he even said that I should not avoid if the circumstance presented itself. I sort of agree but I told him it's the senyum plastic yang tak koser nak buat. I don't do cordial chit chat. So how did u feel after leaving the open house? I asked somemore, he said he felt ok. Just glad it went ok and no super awkward moments. All I said in response is 'you're a bigger man than I am.'

Next scenario, im hanging out at Chawan when my friend gets a text from his x. 'U @ Chawan?'. Pucat gak la sekejap since my friend had the 'online break-up' and never met the x ever since. Of course we both elongated our necks to see  where the x is located and more importantly who the x was seated with! Later we saw the x seated at the other end of the shop. And with friends. My friend tried hard to maintain his composure but the x kept texting. 'sud I come over and say hi?'. Moron. That was my 1^st thought but I guess under the circumstance, it was the best effort. They texted for a bit and just left it at that, till the end tak dating pun say hi. Some people don't change. Grow a pair putta.

So I was wondering what I would do under the same 2 circumstances. I guess the 1^st if we were to bump in a open house or somewhere you cant run away, I would have to do the poker face. Which im bad at! Would I avoid going in the first place? Depends. Im never the type to say no kalau orang jemput, maybe I'll come early or late to try avoid bumping into each other. Yes, yes I know im very good at avoiding things. Malas nak get messy.  If it's the 2^nd scenario, I guess I would not say hi unless dah betul-betul depan muka. Tu pun depends kot. I mean, I know I sound bitter, but what do I get from saying hi pun? Unless of course it the x yang im already ok with. Then of course I will say hi.

Entahlah, I guess it all depends on what and where I am at that point in time. Its not a confidence thing, its more of a why should I talk to your trap thing. And it's not that I still have feelings for them as well. Maybe I will just be my self after the first words is exchanged, maybe I'll make up a story to leave ASAP. Im all about options. J Maybe if the pain has totally subsided and the old memories are just that, I would act ok. But some scars are left in plain sight and those are the ones no amount of concealer can cover. Like the saying goes, forgiven but never forgotten. And im sure some of my x wouldn't want to bump into me as well for the same reasons. Maybe its just an ego thing or maybe KL is just not big enough.

Gosh! It’s been so long since I last blogged I forgotten that I have a blog. The past couple of months has been hectic to say the least. Raya this year has been a blast!  Raya was divided into two segments. The 1st is the family side. Was in Serendah on the 1st Raya and did the wajib melawat kerabat dalam Felda. Not much change there. But the durians decided to gugur on 1st Raya which was just added bliss.

2nd Raya my real kerabat came down from Johore. All 3 cars of them. Had to make a last min rush to Rawang town to look for toto. My dad build a pangkin beside the lake so everyone can just have meals outside which is awesome. Was fun seeing all the cousins tido bersepah on the old wooden floor that night after main meriam buloh and mercun.

Then it was our turn to go down south. Melaka, Muar, Batu Pahat and JB. Loads of ketupats, litres of sirap and bertin-tin kueh were devoured along the way. I decided to drive as well cause only after 2 nites in JB I had to drive back to Shah Alam, where my 2nd segment of Raya was waiting. Raya with my geng! Waited for Madey to arrive from Perak then we drove to Kuala Pilah for a nitecap then shot to Singapore, just in time to catch Singapore F1. 

Ever since that weekend, I have had no time to really just lepak at home and sleep! Every weekend ada open house and oh, I have also started dating again. Hihi.. So the line has started and I have quite a few to run through. I figured I’ve been single long enough, time to place me back on the market. Nothing serious though, I still intend on keeping my new year resolution to have 09 as an ‘Independent Year.’ So its just dates, movie dates, lunch dates, dinner dates. No more no less. And I found out I like 1st dates. Maybe im not such a jaded biatch after all. So now, ive been told I only have 2 months before the year ends and im hoping the funride will last till end of the year. Sounds tiring, no? But I will have it no other way. No time for haters, just bring on the awesomeness!

Everyone has something to say about any one thing. We all have thoughts on subjects and issues that concerns or doesn’t concern us. In the day and age of cyber space, the amount of information has just gone on a overdrive. Nowadays, anyone that can string a proper sentence can have a blog and air out what is fisted in their hearts. Just look at the media now, quotes and soundbytes from the powerful to the pauper can be reviewed and given feedback on. All this cycle on thoughts on thoughts on thoughts in the end just creates noise. So much noise you don’t know which way is up anymore. So, to kill the noise u switch off  your receptive senses just as you would a radio. U create a bubble where the noise is chosen to be ignored. That is way easier than dealing with noise. But it makes u jaded to some issues though.

So many issues are out there currently, take your pick. Case and point, notice that they are NGO for almost anything now. Voices for every marginalized sector of society. Someone is always willing to talk for someone or some cause, be it charity to political gains. With so many opinions flung around, which one can we trust? Sometimes we are even cohearsed to take sides. If your silent, it means you are not with us, which means you are with them. Cause if you are not, you would have said something. But doesn’t free speech also means the right to abstain from speaking?

Reminds me of what my mum told we once upon a time. ‘Kawan dengan orang yang nak kawan dengan kita, kalau dia tak nak, biarkan, tak rugi apa pun.’ It was actually the time some neighbourhood kids refused to let me play soccer cause of my kaki bangku handicap. That piece of advise though very simple, is what I apply in situation at hand. We go along with the people who accept us and be civil to those who doesn’t. No need to force ourselves on to others. For what we believe is absolute, they could believe as pure false. And who is the judge to tell which one is the right one anyway?

Another flash back of my childhood that I want to share. We were driving back from a funeral of a family friend. It was an Indian family and it was my first time witnessing a Catholic funeral. So in the car I asked my dad (I was 7 maybe) if we died we meet Allah, when Aunty Mala dies who does she meet? My dad said, Aunty Mala will meet God also.

But she is not orang Islam kan? I asked.

Yes, she is not orang Islam, but she also believes in God. And there is only one God. So different religion is like taking a different Jalan to the same place. To God, so she will meet God la. Maybe nama tuhan dia lain, but its still God.

I guess that is what we forget at times. The bigger picture. It’s exciting to be caught up in the storm in teacup of a world we have, we loose sight of what is important. Kalau dah bersemangat over something, itu je lah benda yang paling penting dalam dunia at that moment. We hiss and growl at others who don’t share our views or values. To put it simply, I might hate tempoyak, but if you love em, u can have em. And its tempoyak I don’t like, not the tempoyak eater. Why I don’t like tempoyak? It’s a matter of preference, up bringing or just plain rejection from my taste buds. Who knows, who cares. Point is, if I can deal with you eating tempoyak for breakfast, lunch or dinner, it wont be too much to ask from you to accept and acknowledge that I don’t like tempoyak.

Fair kan? Not so hard to do pun. Agree to disagree.

Now, back to the big picture. I’m lucky cause whenever I get confused from what is right and what is wrong since we have concluded that there is no absolute truth or black and white anymore, I look up to my parents. Seeing how my dad runs his farm unperturbed by media hailstorm or politics. Not that he has no opinion on it, believe me he has, but he knows his place in the great scheme of things. He knows what he needs to do. The duty or tanggungjawab that he has on his shoulders. That is his 1^st and utmost priority. Less talking, more doing. He makes sure his family is well taken care of, he contributes to his community in everyway he cab, he pays taxes and he takes care of his goats. Nothing is more important than that. And grasping that idea of simplicity and contentedness just inspires me.

“Inspiration without perspiration just leads to false expectations”

What we need is less noise and more work. I know I have a lot of work to do. I’m not sure if I ever will reach my father’s level of achievement. Not sure I can ever measure up but I do know I have an excellent team, to support me go through it all. So to sum up Ramadhan so far (tetiba citer puasa) What I have learned so far is the value of sabar and that means to try keep silent and listen. With or without prejudice.

The scene: 3 old friends having drinks and roti bakar after Tarawikh prayers..after a long day of abstaining from food and gossip they could'nt resist doing what they do best:-

Bitching.

Akok : So I went on a date the other nite..

Talam : Bulan puasa oso don't close shop aah u?

Akok : Halooo, gi dating ok not whore-ing..

Talam : Ok fine, so who is the guy?

Akok : A friend of a friend..

Bakar : Cute tak?

Akok : Cute! Older one year from me, tall and kinda funny.

Bakar : Sounds like a catch. How did the date go?

Akok : It went ok, went for early sahur, borak-borak and then he tried to speak in English.

Talam : Tried to speak in English? What? U dated a Russian or Arab ka?

Akok : No, no..he is melayu la. I mean, we were talking in BM at first then I spoke some English then he did, or at least he tried. Grammar dia and pronunciations dia ke laut lah! Hancur!

Bakar : Oh I sooo know what you mean, like the very the melayu one la

Akok : Worse! I didn't even understand what he tried to say tau

Talam : Ish u ni, cant be that bad ok, the average Malaysian can talk decent English..suka tau kutuk kaum sendiri.

Akok : I'm sorry. Bad English is just a no-no to me Like a deal breaker. I cringe so hard when he said things like 'I is proud to be Malaysian' or 'The waiter dah give bills?'

Bakar : (trying hard not to laugh) ok, ok that is bad, but still takkanla just coz of that u tak give him a chance. It's a date, not triple 1 9 exam lah!

Akok : Yeah, I know..in fact I know I sound like such a horrible sod for saying it. But, cannot go lah kalau English berterabur ni…allergic!

Talam : DQ!

Bakar : U can converse in BM what? Or Manglish..No need the Queen's English 24-7

Akok : Hmmmmmmm…true. But what do I do when he does all Julie Dahlan on me?

Bakar : Well, for starters u ca smile and let it go. DON'T try to correct him. Guy's hate that. Unless it's a major major thing la..Get to know the guy, not just the lingua franca.

Akok : U know what, I tried that. I finished the date albeit cringing every now and then. But he was a sweet guy. And when I got back he texted me good nite also.

Bakar : What did he say?

Akok : Good nite, have a sweet dreams!

Bakar & Talam : LMAO

 

So I was walking out of Stadium Melawati (Melawati or Meliwati?) with a whole year supply of spentot. I usually will go to the ware house sale just to buy spentots and other inner things. A box of 3 Renoma for RM11, ok what?!

As I was making my way through a sea of makciks in masks, a couple of young boys dressed in blue t-shirts approached me.

‘Bang, nak pasang Internet Celcom?’

Just the the person I was looking for. Last week my USB modem thingy came from Celcom as a gift. I plugged it in my laptop but nothing happened. This was no surprise as I do know electrical equipments are allergic of me. So when the two boys asked me to buy something that I already got for free and not working, I asked them back:-

‘Saya dah ada tapi takleh pakai, how?’

Then the conversation ensued. The boys were asking me what kinda of Microsoft Office I was using and what kind of modem I got. I explained to them what my predicament was, expecting them to shrug their shoulders and tell me to call the careline number.

But they did no such thing. They asked me in detail what the problem was and I tried my best to explain. In the end one boy said, ‘Abang bawak je la laptop datang sini, saya checkan untuk Abang.’ I was more than happy to oblige. We agreed that I was to drop by the stadium after work.

Sharp at 5.30 I left work and brought my laptop along. At that time the place was packed with even more makciks who are willing to bertarik tudung for the cheapest pinggan mangkuk offer. I look for the two boys at the Celcom booth only to find them walking out, it seems it was time for their break. I felt a tad guilty intruding in their break time, and I was willing to wait till one of the boys said if they could check my laptop over a drink.

So I joined the kids for a drink while one of them started dabbling on my laptop, the other one was just making conversation with me asking me where I worked aand what I do.

‘Sime Darby jual apa bang?’

‘Sime Darby jual semua, kereta, rumah, makanan, hospital. Macam macam ada.’

‘Fuish! Sure gaji masyuk kan?’

‘ Bolehlah alhamdulilah.’

‘Ada kable tak kalau kami nak try.’

‘Kable tak power, tapi kalau nak try boleh check kat website.’

‘Kalau macam kami ni, ada dip je brapa leh dapat ek?’

‘Hmmm dalam RM1000 – ke RM1500 tengok keje gak lah.’

‘Fuissshhh ! RM1500 tu ! Best !’

 

I coudnt help but smile. Rm1500 dia dah kata banyak. I asked them how much they made for selling each modem or prepaid card. It was so sikit. The boys stayed at Jalan Klang Lama and came to Shah Alam by bus or pinjam motor member on somedays. They told me how hard it is to look for customers. I told them maybe their location is not prime. Makcik gi beli Arcopal on discount wont want to buy USB modem. They agreed and laughed. I shared with them how I started work, how I was peddling Time Gold IDD cards at Sungai Wang and only lasted for 2 days when I was 22. How I worked at Adidas HQ, I jual Projector, then to a training company, PR Company then to Sime. They actually listened intentively to my stories. I told them that they are doing good for their age of 21. That the road is long but fun and as long as you are willing to work hard eventually you will succeed.

At that point, I’m pretty sure I sounded like my father.

Then they asked me how old I was.

‘29’

‘Tipu lah! Muka Nampak muda lagi!’

*Rasa macan nak beli 10 modem terus!*

So after trouble shooting my laptop, which didn’t work and finishing a cup of teh tarik i told the boys i had to go and thanked them for taking time to help me out, when they didn’t have to. That was when one of them started to light up a cigarette and then share that one ciggie with his friend. Sedih la pulak tengok budak budak ni. Rokok pun share!

I was looking the warungs if the sold any ciggies, ingat nak la belanja rokok sekotak.

After exchanging goodbyes, I made my way to my car feeling very humbled from the encounter. Here I was being blessed with rezeki and kerja tetap and I was more than happy to share what little I know with them. Although the laptop still couldn’t read the modem, I am sure that the encounter was not about fixing my modem. It was just a random chance that gave me a lot to think about and be happy about.

Who knows maybe one day in the near future our paths will meet again and the boys will be grown men, grown successful men.

For once upon a time I was also a boy who had no idea what the future looks like. And now even as I make my way in life knowing a bit more that I did back than, I am happy to say that I still look the same age I did back then..hehehe.